I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
