I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
