So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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