I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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