apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm at about main and main street
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
