ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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