8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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