In America we eat man semen.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
