Will you blow on my dice?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
