We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you traded sex for a burrito?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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