feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
