Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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