is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think your dad took our porno
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
