It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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