yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Farmville is her only friend.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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