ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
What drink are we having for lunch?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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