maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
