shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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