You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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