Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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