It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
