My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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