i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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