Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
