Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
