How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He's on the porch naked. Help.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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