We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
