I'm really into asian looking animals
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
