doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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