Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
