I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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