He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
