I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
