i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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