Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
