News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
