is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
