Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize