i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
