Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
