Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
