Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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