Jerry, you need to find god
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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