I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
