If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
