at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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