Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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