Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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