thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
