he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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