He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
