I just saw a hot homeless man
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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