Porn is love you can see.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
