just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
