Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
