Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
