Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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