so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
