This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
