Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
