I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize