We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
