Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
