we have officially lost it.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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