Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
