Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Everyone says I win the strip club
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
