he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Randomize
